"Belly Boarding the Lunar Waves" by Captain Chaos

Hello Earthlings, Captain Chaos calling! I've been sent to you to help lighten your load. Oh! - you think that I might be another one of your mythical saviours? Sorry, that's another department. We have an outstation near what you call Alpha Centauri, so it's only a hop, skip & jump to your pretty little planet. Interesting experiment going on here. After I was put on assignment, I researched the records & came up with this ancient file entitled "PROJECT MUSHROOM". Simply put - seed a suitable planet, keep all participants in the dark & feed them bullshit. Must have seemed a good idea at the time. Now we owe you something of an apology & explanation. The project designers screwed up! They didn't allow adequately for the harshness of the conditions & the resulting evolution of such powerful survival behaviour. You've overdone it a bit, haven't you? Overpopulation & pollution of the planet, torturing & killing each other indiscriminately, creating social structures to control others, extensive & mandatory brainwashing. Do I need to go on? Actually, it's very embarrassing for the Cosmic Design crew & they don't want it to get around. A culture of Self annihilation is not going to sell very well. So, here I am! Sneaking in the back door so to speak, being channelled by one of your fringe dwellers, an astrologer. Not very popular creatures are you? Your only usefulness is that you do look upwards, or into an Ephemeris, for some understanding of the incoming energy waves. And like the rest of the population, you are afflicted with a bad case of the "Hyper Survival Plague". It's an inevitable result of the Mushroom treatment. Some around here call it KAQ (Kill the Alien Quick - pronounced KAK) or DTS (Don't Talk - Shoot). So as I'm sure you can appreciate, we can't come in the front door carrying flowers & saying we're sorry & won't ever do it again. Such sensory little things, aren't you? So like living in the familiar smell of your cute little bodies. I'm what you'd call a standing wave form, so I don't wear your dilemma of co-ordinating flatulence & orgasm. I'm going to send information about each of your moonths [Sun/Moon cycles] so that you can, if you choose, start riding the electromagnetic waves a little easier. Like feeding chooks; too little & they'll kill to get it; too much & they get fat & lazy. It's real hands on intuitive stuff, as I'm sure some of you appreciate. One of the companion diseases of KAQ is SS (Super Seriousness). A rather deadly combination, these two. While you may think you're semi-enlightened, these diseases are endemic to the Astrological community. What a pity that all your insights devolve to survival strategies. Enough introduction, let's get on with the instruction. Open wide! 1997 Virgo Lunation New Moon on 2.9.97 @ 9 Virgo 33’ At this new moon, the Lights conjunct a retrograde Mercury, sextile Mars & square Pluto. So for an introverted Virgo Moonth, it’s going to be rather punchy. Not as extraverted aggression, more like an overwhelming urge to find the pus pockets & squeeze them out. Sounds like a good moonth to seek out all the blackheads’ in your life, both literally & symbolically. There can be a strange fanaticism coming through the Virgo energy field, but then perhaps that’s only a response to the distortions caused by puritan social attitudes. Like the body has to be controlled & disciplined or it could become dangerously hedonistic. That would not do! The Virgo urge for self improvement can be twisted into impossible perfectionism by vigorous flagellation. Like the perverted belief that beating children regularly is good for the development of their souls. Hey there turkeys, just to remind you that most of your ancestors became bitter & twisted people. No wonder, considering how they were treated. No blame, no shame, just part of the cost of growing consciousness. So, symbolically speaking, what’s the nature of the pus that needs to be pricked? Primarily, it seems to lodge in the psyche as feelings of guilt & shame. The guilt/sin/shame number correlates with an early phase of evolution that has not yet been fully integrated. You’ve been told, in a Christian culture, that mankind was driven out of the Garden of Eden as a result of becoming too conscious & realising that he/she had choice. Partly it’s the gender thing, being split by rampant biology into maleness & femaleness. It’s difficult, on a soul level, being only half a being. No more than 50 cents in the $, max! Maybe perfection simply equals wholeness. Could be that much of this moonth is about finding your inner ‘better half’. It’s Jungian Anima/Animus time, the dance of the gender polarities. So ultimately, it’s about transcending gender & freeing yourselves from the vigorous pull of the primeval swamp, from which your ancestors crawled millennia ago. To transcend gender & not just dissociate from it, you are going to have to embrace it. Become boy/girl! Does this mean some cross dressing? It certainly could. It’s easy for a woman, just put on a pair of trousers & a mustache. Harder for a man, with dresses & high heels. Oh! the shame, the shame. Do you have the courage to defy conformity & tradition, even in your head? This new moon also includes a partial eclipse in Saros Series 18 North. This series started on Feb. 4 1060 AD & has a Mercury/Pluto conjunction & Uranus on the midpoint of Mars/Saturn. Brady (The Eagle & the Lark. 1992) interprets this as: “A high level of stress accompanies the energy of this series & individuals will experience a taxing of their strength. Events will occur that require the expenditure of effort; this can also manifest as illness or accident. The whole flavour of this eclipse is one of physical concern, as well as worry or obsessive thinking”. So if this eclipse falls on your birthchart angles or on any of the personal planets, be prepared. Breakdown/breakthrough time.