Chapter 8: Areas That Challenge You Or Are Difficult For You

You both yearn for, and fear, being emotionally vulnerable with others and experiencing deep emotional intimacy. Trusting others and letting yourself be known in a deep way doesn't come easily to you, and sexual inhibitions may result from this. You are very self-protective and may be compulsively secretive. Learning to relinquish control in personal relationships, and to be completely open, are important tasks for you. You take both your work and your health very seriously, but you may demand so much of yourself at work that you compromise your health. You can become a workaholic, not so much because you have lofty ambitions, but because you never feel like you've done enough. You are overly responsible or overly conscientious at work, so much so that you may not enjoy it at all. You can also get overly involved in self-improvement or your health, and you tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac. You are inclined to feel inferior and may easily be taken in by others. You have to guard against being deceived or used by others, though your intentions may be good. Don't let your desire to have things cloud your ability to see what is really happening. Not very adaptable, you tend to be rebellious and fight hard against oppression. This could even lead to violent incidents, so try to take care. You may have to work extremely hard and may have a lot of responsibilities that you cannot let go. Now we will discuss patterns of behavior which you instinctively and habitually revert to when under stress - a mostly unconscious process and one which you are apt to overdo because it is so familiar and thus easy for you. The direction you need to follow in order to develop balance, greater awareness, and wholeness is also described. You have a great capacity for sympathy, tenderness, and caring, which is a gift that you are apt to overdo at times. For balance, you need to develop mature self-discipline, self-control, and personal responsibility. When under stress, you have a strong instinct to retreat back into the nest, to be a child again, or to become overwhelmed with feelings and longings to be taken care of. Also, you may encourage others to depend upon you emotionally (and otherwise) to an unhealthy degree. You need to learn how to set limits and to turn off the flow of support when necessary. The arena you are most likely to wrestle with these issues is in developing a personal vision or philosophy of life, whether this be through religious or philosophical studies, a broadening education, or visiting and drawing upon the wisdom in distant lands or cultures. Cultivate the qualities described above in this endeavor. Long distance communication and involvement with foreigners is likely to be significant to you. The specific habits which are likely to hold you back, or which you are prone to overdo, especially during stressful periods, include: Going to extremes, willful rebelliousness and an instinctive antiauthoritarian attitude, seeking constant (and often purposeless) movement or change, involvement with unreliable people, and seeking individual freedom at any cost.