Venus and Mars

Our second female/male planetary pair, more commonly associated with romantic relationships, is Venus and Mars. Venus is the principle of attraction; hence her preoccupation with beauty and appearances. Mars is the conquering hero. In essence, Venus gives the urge to unite opposites, to harmonize and bring things into equilibrium. Love, cooperation and partnership, harmony and balance, sympathy and humanity, idealism and peacefulness, artistry, aesthetic sense and a feeling for beauty are all characteristic of the Venus function. Mars, on the other hand is the initiator, the motivator and the penetrator; it is power and action, courage and enterprise, energy and self-assertion, ambition, and aggression; it gives the urge to prove oneself. Venus represents values. Venus and Mars are reflected in this quote by Harding: "The instinct for self-preservation has had a very important and positive effect on society, because it has promoted mutual relations between people." This results when as a society, we value peace. The issues presented when this romantic due combine are: intimacy and sexuality (love/sex), harmony and confrontation (passive/aggressive), cooperation and initiative, appreciation of the partner's values, and self-value. Just as the Sun in a woman's chart indicates her male archetype, Mars combines with the Sun to give us a profile of the kind of man she'll be attracted to. Similarly, Venus combines with the Moon in a man's chart to describe his female archetype or ideal woman. Naturally, it's ideal if you're a man and have your Mars in a masculine sign and your Venus in a feminine sign. Likewise, if you're a woman, having your Venus in a feminine sign, and your Mars in a masculine one would be the ideal. But life is not that simple, and not all women like a "manly man," nor all men a "femme fatale." From an astrological perspective, some Women are from Mars and some Men are from Venus! Consider a female with Venus in Leo in the 10th house square Mars, or a man with Mars in Pisces in the 4th trine the Moon. Actually, these two should accept the "romantic role reversal" and team up, since they'll have trouble fitting into the more traditional roles of dominant male; passive female. The Venus in Leo female will be viewed as too aggressive by most men. Rather than being admired for her great courage and sense of adventure, she will probably be thought of as "The Great Emasculator." And our Venus in Pisces man may appear weak to many women. Unfortunately, he may be judged by his male counterparts, and by some women, as having homosexual tendencies, instead of being valued for his great sensitivity and perception. Many couples these days are comfortable with role reversals, at least in some areas of their life. More traditional couples are not, and some of the scenarios that arise when Venus and Mars conflict are: relationship vs. freedom, reaction vs. action, attraction vs. pursuit, closeness vs. independence, sharing vs. selfishness, giving vs. taking. When Venus and Mars are confused, androgyny or bisexuality may result. There could be difficulty integrating affection and sexuality; anger may be directed at the opposite sex. Suppose our man has Venus in Aries and Mars in Cancer. He may expect his woman to be assertive (like Mum was) and become sullen if she doesn't take the initiative in the relationship. It has been said that Venus indicates our mother's values. If your Venus is in Capricorn, Mother valued ambition, success, expensive clothing, etc. She may have been a social-climber or merely valued the work ethic. Either way, you will probably have inherited or internalized at least some of her values. We know that there are both positive and negative qualities associated with each sign. Regardless of whether Mum lived out the positive or the negative, with the help of astrology, we can learn to incorporate into our being the inherent good in our Venus sign. Venus/Mars inharmonious may have trouble expressing anger, e.g., Venus in Capricorn opposite Mars in Cancer, or square Mars in Libra. Here we have projected anger, appeasing or vindictive behavior. Another manifestation is that the need for freedom or dependency might be projected. If so, the partner may be abandoning or clinging, e.g., Venus in Pisces square Mars in Sagittarius, or Mars in Aquarius quincunx Venus in Cancer. Money equals power may be a theme in the relationship. Fighting over money is a common power struggle in relationships; the withholding of sex is another, e.g., Taurus Mars opposite Scorpio Venus. One may need approval, but act rebelliously, e.g., Venus in Capricorn semi-sextile Mars in Aquarius. A person with a Venus/Mars affliction may need immediate gratification, resulting in a lack of foreplay or premature ejaculation, e.g., Venus in Scorpio quincunx Mars in Aries. Personal magnetism may be used to fulfill selfish desires: Venus in her not-so-passive manifestation -- as manipulator. One may seek or give approval through sex (Venus in Capricorn square Mars in Aries). On a different note, but equally difficult, Venus/Mars afflictions can make one excessively romantic. This often occurs with the conjunction; e.g., a woman with Venus conjunct Mars in Pisces, or a man with Venus conjunct Mars in Libra. We've all heard the expression "love at first sight." While this could, in some cases be the recognition of a past-life love, it is usually indicative of an out of control Venus. As a planet, Venus appears as a morning or evening star, a gorgeous and brilliant object, who, like Mercury, never strays far from the Sun. Alas, Venus's brilliance is attributed to her cloud cover, a dense carbon dioxide atmosphere, which reflects the source of all light -- the Sun. If atmosphere does indeed cloud perception, we can now appreciate from whence came folkloric expressions such as "love is blind," or "beauty is in the eye of the beholder," and "beauty is only skin deep." Conflict, creatively handled, can lead to personal growth and spiritual evolution. Understanding the dynamics involved in any planetary pair combined inharmoniously, and having the courage to heal, allows us to harness the tension inherent in the affliction into transformative power. Just as in the outer world, Venus and Mars conflicted can be used to take raw materials (Mars), and turn them into a thing of beauty (Venus): works of art, so in our inner world we can move away from the turbulence of the war between the sexes (both internal and external) and open our hearts to the onslaught of love. Make love, not war! The lucky owner of a Venus-Mars trine or sextile inherited a healthy attitude toward sexuality and femininity from the mother, and can thoroughly enjoy romantic relationships. It is easy for this person to combine her/his emotional and sexual needs. Venus by sign and house shows what a person wants, desires and appreciates in life, and what that person expects from a love relationship. Complemented by the Mars energy, one is able to act in such a way as to manifest their relationship goals. There is a great capacity for love and giving. When other relating problems are indicated in the chart (like Sun/Moon afflictions), the positive aspects between Venus and Mars give the person the confidence to work these problems through. The desire for love, sex and relationship is the primary psychological urge that rises up from the unconscious in all human beings. Love is the highest and most potent force in the universe. Truly love makes the world go Îround, and love can indeed move mountains. Nobody says it like Kahlil Gibran, the great Lebanese poet. His verses on Love are animated by the spirit of Venus and Mars! "When love beckons to you, follow him Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you And when he speaks to you believe in him Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, Then it is better for you that cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing floor, Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears." The urge toward wholeness leads us on a quest where we seek to unite opposites: our conscious with our unconscious (Sun with our Moon), and to link love with passion (Venus and Mars). The card of "The World" in the Tarot is the perfect symbol for the ideal of "Integration." A golden serpent is depicted, coiled in the shape of an egg, eating its own tail. The World Snake, or Ouroboros as the Greeks called it, was said to be both male and female, self-impregnating, self feeding, immortal and complete. Within its circumference a strange figure dances; half male and half female. Here we met Hermaphroditus, said in myth to be the child of Hermes and Aphrodite (Venus) and representing both duality and unity. Hermaphroditus mirrors the experience of being whole. Male and female become more than sexual identifications; they are the great polarities that encompass all the opposites that war with in us and create struggle in our lives: love vs. hate, maternal nurturing vs. paternal protection, relationship vs. solitude. When we experience an inner healing; a resolution of the female/male imbalance within us, we come full circle and end up where we started from -- at our spiritual source. Only then are we ready to enter into relationship with another human being!